So I'm sitting with a good friend of mine and she's telling me how hard things have been for her lately. She graduated with a degree in Film and Telecommunications and couldn't get a job anywhere. She had a day job to pay the bills but then she didn't have time to do video production or look for a job in her field. So she quit her job and formed her own production Co. Every once in a while she does an event, like a wedding, a City Hall meeting. But they are few and far in between. And the pay isn't great. She's trying to do what she loves but she can barely afford to eat.

Well, which is worse? Doing what you love and being broke? Or working your ass off and being broke?

Especially if your working your ass off at a job you hate and spend every cent after food on your movie?

See, I'm starting this website to tell you of my travails. To warn you, to educate you, because even though I make $35,000 a year working two jobs I am not sure where I am going to sleep tonight. But don't feel too sorry for me because I have made a movie and a lot of my aspiring indie filmmaker buddies can't say the same thing.

So I work for the County of San Diego making about $30K a year and I'm living large. I go skiing every month. I go partying every weekend. I love going to see local bands perform in San Diego. I've always been writing screenplays and thinking about making movies when it hits me. Make a movie about this! I mean I love these bands. They have huge followings and they do it all without selling out. I love Documentaries. I love beer. Obviously way too much or I would have realized what a crazy idea this was.

I haven't been skiing since then. And I love Mammoth and Lake Tahoe, mind you. But to make a long story short I roped in my friend Jim Costa. And we start documenting the indie scene in San Diego. But it ends up costing more than I thought it ever would. So I get a second job. Jim already has one shooting weddings but he's got a wife and kid so that's where most of that money goes. We edit it, re-edit it, re-edit it.

Did I mention we had to re-edit this over and over again? I'm still working my two jobs working until 4:00 am some mornings video taping or editing and going to work at 7:00 in the morning. My supervisor, noticing I'm exhausted asks, me if I have a drug problem. I tell her yes, but there is no 12 step program for independent filmmaking.

We work. Pay our rent. Pay our bills (well some of them), and put as much as possible off to the side until it's enough to rent an editing system for $500 a day. Then drive up to Santa Monica, edit, come home and go back to work. After about three years and four or more horror stories we have it down to 109 minutes. The first draft was 2 hours and 45 minutes. So we're done.

Wrong again.

You know that saying: "build a better mouse trap and the world will beat a path to your door?" Well they gotta know about the fucking mouse trap before they give a shit.

So we gotta make dubs, submit to film festivals, make promotional materials. Guess what? All of this costs money. No problem we've come this far.

But wait what's that on my front lawn? A for sale sign?

Four days later it's in escrow and I have a choice: Put down about $1200 as a deposit on a new place or use that money to submit to Sundance and Slamdance, make one sheets, hire somebody to build a website.

Having come this far what would you do? Knowing that if you rent a new place it's going to push everything back a year as we do the save up until we have money dance?

Your reading this on my website so you know what I chose.

My computer is at my mom's house. Sometimes I stay there and sometimes at my brother's house. As I get some time at mom's I'll update these rantings. I'll tell you about our editing horror stories. Our progress in submitting to festivals. But just know that it's all worth it.